As a strong believer of speaking your mind, I’m an honest person. I say what I think and prefer to be surrounded by people who are similar. But this is not always the case, there have been numerous occasions on which I have been in the midst of people-pleasers who take on fake personalities around specific individuals. Whenever I am in such a situation, I can’t help but think: Why are you doing this?! At times like those, I want to just speak my mind and straight out ask for the reason of this unreasonable behavior.
…but I don’t – thus becoming a part of this strange yet miserable paradox. You don’t follow? An example will help: At a work dinner, X colleague is engaged in discussing the awful dress choice of Y colleague. Y colleague happens to be the supervisor. After spending 20 minutes deconstructing every aspect of Y colleagues dress, X colleague voluntarily goes over and compliments Y’s dress. To me, this is the perfect example where I would like to confront X colleague and tell Y colleague to snap out of it. However, this is the exact moment where I need to bite my tongue and get on with life… knowing that X hates Y, Y loves X and I am stuck with this unnecessary guilt over it.
Not working for you? Here is another simple example: Q is someone who thrives on gossip. P opens up to Q about her personal problems. Q sympathizes and gives really good advice… but the moment she gets away, Q runs to someone else to spread the new ‘goss’. This situation has been repeated in front of me many times, and most of the times P has held the highest opinion of Q, insisting on believing the best in those kind of people.
Forgive me if I lost you during the course of that example, but congratulations if you followed through! This situation has happened to me a couple of times, and I just want to get out of it. Where has the genuine feeling of being nice to someone gone to? Apparently, backbiting and lying has become an increasingly important part of our lives that it has become almost impossible to part with.
Well, I am calling it on being fake. It is mean, unnecessary and just plain stupid. Whether you are studying, working or travelling, you are bound to face people who are incapable of being honest – so carefully pick who you choose to be friends with and who to keep at arms length.